Feigning Sympathy

It’s been really hard to find the strength to post lately. I’m going to go out on a ledge here and say…It’s been hard to find the motivation to write about “furniture and purses” with so much hate on display throughout the United States. Nothing against those who also blog on “furniture and purses”, or whatever your niche is. You do you. I just haven’t felt the vibe lately. But, I have so many opinions and thoughts. Thoughts that have been crushing me inside. I’ve been trying to decide what this space look like moving forward. Honestly, I still don’t know right now, but I know It’s time to write, Brittany…it’s time.

“Feigning Sympathy”

These words hit me in the gut mighty hard when I saw them written today. You know, that friend of a friend post. But, this was different…It stuck out and it hurt. 

How often have I “feigned sympathy” in the form of “thoughts and prayers” — Whether it be intentional or the product of becoming unintentionally numb to the chaos happening all around us? I’m not saying your “thoughts and prayers” are not heartfelt. I'm going to be completely truthful here though and say some are not so heartfelt either (those said as a way to move on quickly from the subject, or those who know it's socially correct to say something but not care). 

The thing that hit me was the after…

What happens after we say the phrase “thoughts and prayers”…? In a lot of cases, we move on. In the case of mass shootings, we move on. Deliberate acts of racism, we move on. The news cycle changes and we move on. It doesn’t involve us and we move on. I could go on and on in circumstances that we move on. It doesn’t hurt our circle and we move on. Our life moves on. As it should to a certain extent…

But we can’t forget and that’s where we are becoming complicit. We move on as quickly as the news cycle does and so does our rage, our want to do better, our want to fix it, our want to stand up. And that’s just not okay. 

I used to be a lot more vocal on Facebook. I used to post what I believed was right and wrong. I tried to think I stood up for what I believed was right in today's time. I used to...And a fear crept in. A stupid fear that "my people" would find my opinions repulsive. Seriously, what was wrong with me...I'd become apart of the problem. I had become complicit in my beliefs because I was afraid to defend them, I was petrified to no longer be liked, so I remained silent. I offered "thoughts and prayers" and then privately discussed my feelings on them with my husband because I was afraid to advocate a voice for them, or rock the establishment. I watched people I thought I knew to spew hateful rhetoric and I just sat there and nodded. I don't want to be complicit anymore. 

I’m writing “feigning sympathy” on every mirror in our house today. I want to remember these words. I hope there is no future loss to have to warrant (but my mind says that’s just not reasonable). I want to be better than just “thoughts and prayers” moving forward. I hope I can be better for those around me, our future generation of kids everywhere, for everyone.

Don’t be complicit. Be better.